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New Speak Dictionary of Progressive Slang
by Red Bug
This is a growing work. If you would like to contribute, email us at
RGM@starving-writers.com
Bail-out
1. A person in a boat finds that the boat is sinking, i.e., filling with water. So, with a bucket they begin dipping water out of the bottom of the boat so that the boat won’t sink. When all the water is gone, they break a hole in the bottom of the boat, so they can at the water rmore easily and continue dipping water out of the boat. The boat continues to sink, so they break a bigger hole in the bottom of the boat so they can dip the water faster. The boat continues to sink, now, at a faster rate. The person with the bucket is you and me. The person making the decision about the solution to the problem of the boat’s sinking is a Progressive.
2. A huge bank lends its depositors’ money. The borrowers can’t pay it back. The depositors demand a return of their money. The government goes to the depositors and with a gun to their heads, takes more of their money and gives 20% of it to the bank, keeping back 80% for administration costs. The bank then gives the money to the depositors, and the bank is bailed out. What the government doesn't use for administrative costs is used to start new social programs. To continue the program next year, they will raise taxes.
Bigot
1. Any person who is not a Negro or an Hispanic.
2. Any person who thinks a Non-Negro can do as good a job as a Negro or Hispanic and should have an equal opportunity at employment or education.
3. Any one who is a member of the Republican Party.
Birther
1. Someone who has absolutely no credibility as a result of their belief that all political candidates should be thoroughly vetted instead of just non-Progressives.
2. Anyone who does not know where Barack Obama was actually born, like Governor Neil Abercrombie.
3. Anybody who thinks Sandy Paul is a loopy space alien or a Trotskyite implant.
Bureaucrat
1. (1) A person who cuts red tape sideways. -- J. McCabe
2. (2) A politician who has tenure. (Unknown)
3. One of a host of pygmies, together operating a gigantic machine (Honore Balzac)
4. Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, resort to sales. Those who sell poorly go into bureaucracy. Those who fail at bureaucracy run for political office. Some are elected. The rest sleep under bridges.
Dupe
1. A Potemkin Village Liberal:
"Potemkin Village" has also been used to describe the attempts of the Soviet government to fool foreign visitors. The government would take such visitors, who were often already sympathetic to socialism or communism, to select villages, factories, schools, stores, or neighborhoods and present them as if they were typical, rather than exceptional. Given the strict limitations on the movement of foreigners in the USSR, it was often impossible for these visitors to see any other examples.[6] A recent BBC series reported that in 1952 Doris Lessing, a British writer who has since won the Nobel Prize for Literature, was part of a delegation visiting the Soviet Union. Her memories of the trip are clear and unforgiving: “I was taken around and shown things as a ‘useful idiot’... that’s what my role was. I can’t understand why I was so gullible.” The Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw and American journalist Walter Duranty also visited the Soviet Union. They mingled with political leaders, were escorted into the countryside by Stalin’s secret police, and returned home to speak and write of ‘a land of hope’ with ‘evils retreating before the spread of communism’. However as stories mounted of mass murder and starvation in parts of Russia and Ukraine, reporters such as Gareth Jones and Malcolm Muggeridge investigated and reported on ‘the creation of one enormous Belsen’. Duranty responded with an article in the New York Times headed ‘Story of the famine is bunk’, and got an exclusive interview with Stalin. Soon after, Jones was killed under suspicious circumstances and Muggeridge’s career nose-dived. Duranty was awarded a Pulitzer. (The article (above) is excerpted from wikipedia.)
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potemkin_village
3. Liberals who have been seduced by the inviting Utopian image of a FAIR society entailing “social justice.” (see social justice)
Gay
1. This word came into popular usage in the 1960’s because homosexual people wanted something to replace the formerly popular expressions like Faggot, Queer, Homo, Poo-Pusher, Bull-Dyke, Lesbian, Butch and a host of others, including perverts, preverts, undesirables, shadow dwellers, vagitarians, Lesbyterians. There are many more.
2. The word “gay” was introduced in the 1960’s by Progressives in their bid to give “Social Justice” to the various sexual-persuasion-minorities. A sub-issue promoted by the Progressives by the use of this word is to promote immorality to contribute to the downfall of traditional morality, the work ethic, the family group etc. as per outlined in the Communist Manifesto.
Gun Control
1. Only people in government should be permitted to defend themselves.
2. Anyone who wants to be able to defend him or herself is dangerous and should be prevented from being able to do so, unless they are in government or a prominent television Lesbian.
Homophobe
1. Anyone who is not a homosexual or a bisexual or a tri-sexual or a quadra-sexual or a cross dresser or a woman trapped in man’s body or a man trapped in a woman’s body or a rat trapped in the body of a flea – things like that.
2. Anyone who knows what tea-bagging is and doesn’t like the idea of doing it.
3. Anyone who is disgusted by people like Rosie O’Donnell or Barnie Franks as a result of their life styles and/or their political chicanery.
.
Homo-Probe
1. Deviant spelling of homophobe, sometimes alluding to a tool of that trade.
Journalism
1. A trade adopted by professional writers who have difficulty selling their wares. It entails the wordy and sensational support of political candidates and their causes by any means necessary to pull it off. Comrade Dan Rather can tell you that truth is irrelevant. The only thing that is relevant is victory for the coming revolution.
2. Site: Katie Couric’s three day interview with Sarah Palin and the two minutes of cherry picked pieces aimed at discrediting Palin. She had such difficulty finding anything, that she invented something she could use to insult Palin in front of the cameras, “What newspapers do you read?”
3. Journalism is a science of observing and studying the side of the coin that the journalist wants to support and ignoring or subverting information that conflicts or contradicts that data. This used to be called editorializing, but today, as can be verified by watching CBS news or any of the other mainstream media, this is no longer the case.
Liberal
1. A conservative that has been snubbed by reality. (unknown)
2. A man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. -- Robert Frost
Mis-spoke (Miss-Spoke) (Mispoke) (Miss Poke)
1. You accidentally told the truth and discovered, if you don’t take it back immediately, your family is in grave danger.
2. You told the truth in clear conscience and discovered you liabled someone who is going to kill you if you don’t cover it up, or take it back effectively.
3. If you mispoke about Barack Obama, stay off of airplanes.
4. Site: Mike Evans and his recent interaction with Governor Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii.
5. Evans is now back-peddling at frantic speed. I wonder who got to him.
Philanthropist
(1) A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket. -- Ambrose Bierce
Progressive
1. This is the name that was substituted for “Communist” in the 1950’s or earlier so that the Communist movement could progress without being impeded by the demeaning character, reputation and history of its actual name.
2. “Progressive” and “Liberal” can be used interchangeably in some, but not all contexts.
3. It’s fair to believe that all Progressives are Communists, but not all Liberals are Progressives.
Racist
1. Anyone who is not a Negro or an Hispanic.
2. Anyone who disagrees with a political agenda proposed by a Negro or an Hispanic.
3. Anyone who votes Republican or disagrees with Sandy Paul.
Sex
1. God's biggest joke on human beings. -- Bette Davis
Social Justice
1. This concept alludes to redistribution of wealth by forcing successful people at gun-point to give up their money. Twenty percent of that money is then distributed to people are not successful for any reason. Eighty percent of the money is used for administrative costs, thus creating high paying JOBS for otherwise unsuccessful people.
2. Compensation for the fact that unequal labor and creativity result in unequal income. Achievers, under this justification, have their rewards reduced to an amount equal to the failure levels of others. The balance is used for administrative costs, thus creating high paying jobs for otherwise unsuccessful people.
3. Carried to extremes, in sports – everybody wins and gets a prize. In education, everyone passes and no one has better grades than anyone else. In war – everybody surrenders. In business – there is no business, it’s all government operated i.e., by people who were unsuccessful at business, teaching and sales.
Tea Party
1. Loosely organized Grass Roots movement of Conservative Americans. Their general platform is Lower Taxes, Reduce the size and especially spending of government. Establish government accountability. To a lesser extent, they support the “Flat Tax,” thorough vetting of all political candidates including Progressive candidates (Obama, Kerry, and of course, Sandy Paul, a member of the lunatic fringe).
2. Opponents of the Tea Party want higher taxes, larger government, more spending. They support a heavy Progressive Income Tax and reduction of property rights, as set forth in the Communist Manifesto. They are also against vetting Progressive Political candidates, i.e., Obama, Kerry, et al. “We’ll have to pass it, to find out what’s in it (or elect them to find out what they're going to do to us).” (Pelosi re: health care bill) Opponents to the Tea Party movement are generally characterized by their frantic inventions against Tea Partiers and desperate fabrications. When all else fails, they call Tea Partiers, "Birthers," thinking this negates the need and arguments in favor of lower taxes, smaller government and accountability in government.
Zeal
1. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. ( In older men it is generally regarded as dementia.)
(Ambrose Bierce).
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